Healing
by EvaFlack001
Summary: How can he help her if she won't let him in?


**Hello! I don't normally write for Glee, but I've been ill recently and watching the second season on repeat and I adore the new relationship developing between Sam and Quinn. I have wondered how Quinn is dealing with the adoption of Beth and I know it's a little AU but I decided to write a little story about it. **

**I don't own Glee, unfortunately. But it rocks my world! **

**Enjoy!**

"_Who's that?" Sam tilted his head towards the blonde in the cheerleader's outfit walking down the halls of McKinley High school. _

"_Who?" Dave Karofsky, his self elected tour guide, looked towards the crowd. _

"_That blonde cheerleader?" Sam asked, watching the sway of her slender hips and her long legs in the tiny red and white skirt as she passed. _

_Dave snorted. "The Ice Queen? Trust me, bro, you don't want to go there. " _

"_Why not?" Sam asked curiously, craning his neck as the blonde disappeared into a classroom at the end of the hallway. _

"_She got knocked up last year," Dave answered with a sneer. "Do you really want to tap that?" _

_Sam didn't answer just watched as Karofsky threw the slushie he was carrying all over a kid with a ridiculous looking Afro and a microphone in his hands. _

_

* * *

"Penny for your thoughts?" Quinn teased, dropping into the seat beside him and kissing his cheek._

"Hi." Sam felt his chest tighten at the sight of her. She was just so beautiful. It was Saturday, so her blonde hair was loose from its usual high ponytail and fell around her shoulders. Instead of her Cheerios uniform she wore a pair of blue jeans, a white top and a simple yellow cardigan with her converse trainers.

"Sam?" Quinn asked, lacing her fingers with his and leaning against his side as they watched a bunch of college guys play an impromptu game of baseball.

"Sorry." Sam smiled at her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I was just thinking that you look beautiful today."

Quinn smiled and squeezed his hand gently. "You mean you don't prefer my Cheerios uniform?"

"Well," Sam pretended to consider her question, laughing when she elbowed him in the ribs. "No, seriously, you'd look amazing in a burlap sack. You know that."

Quinn jumped up. "Come on, let's go for a walk. It's too nice to laze around and those guys are going to hit one of us with that baseball."

They strolled leisurely around the park, hands intertwined, until they came to the children's playground. Quinn's smile dimmed slightly, her hazel eyes darkened. Sam didn't miss the look on her face, that mixture of longing and sadness and pain that made him ache for her.

Quinn had never denied that she had given birth last year. She had often told him that honesty was very important to her because she had almost lost everything due to lies and deceit. That said, she never spoke of the little girl she had held and then given away. Every time Sam broached the subject, she seemed to close in on herself and the sadness in her eyes was more than he could bear. She would unconsciously wrap her arms around herself and put an imperceptible distance between them that he couldn't stand.

Sam watched her, noticing the way that one hand fluttered subconsciously to her flat stomach, the other rubbed at her chest as if it ached there. Suddenly, she frowned and darted towards the jungle gym. Sam saw her reach them just in time to catch a tiny blonde girl as she was about to plummet from the top to the ground. He quickly made his way to Quinn's side and watched as she set the little girl on her feet.

"What were you doing up there, sweetheart?" Quinn was asking softly.

"Climbing!" The child gave her a toothy grin and looked up at Sam. "Hi."

"Hi." He smiled gently at her but his attention was focused on Quinn. She was a little pale. "Quinn?"

"Oh my God! You little monkey!" A harrassed looking woman ran towards them, her dark hair falling out of its ponytail. "I can't believe you tried to climb up there."

"Mama!" The child put up her little arms and cuddled into her mother's neck contentedly. "Climbing!"

The woman sent them a grateful look. "I just turned my back for a minute...she climbs everything! There was no way I could have reached her on time."

"No problem," Sam answered, seeing that Quinn was watching the little girl intently. "She's beautiful."

"She is," the woman agreed with a fond smile. "I'd better take her home for her nap now. Say thank you, Beth and wave bye bye." With another smile, she turned and walked away, taking little Beth with her.

At the woman's instruction, Sam saw Quinn stiffen and all the colour leech from her face.

"Tank you," Beth repeated obediently, waving goodbye over her mother's shoulder as they walked away. "Bye bye!"

Quinn 's hand trembled in his as Sam steered her away from the playground. She walked along, stumbling once, her eyes focused on something he couldn't see.

Reaching a bench, he sat down and tugged gently until she was sitting beside him, still staring straight ahead. "Quinn?" When she didn't answer, his concern grew. "Quinn? Baby, talk to me."

She looked up at him, eyes blank. "I have to go."

Sam grabbed for her as she got unsteadily to her feet. "Quinn, wait. Let me take you home. We can talk..."

"No!" She wrenched herself free from his grasp and stepped back. "I can't. ...can't... I have to go." She turned and ran towards the gate, ignoring his calls to her to stop.

* * *

Quinn ran blindly, wanting to get away from the park with its happy families and the sudden and vivid reminder of the tiny daughter she had loved and given away to some nameless family. The pressure in her chest grew as she darted through the crowd. She could hear Sam running behind her and ignored him.

"_Beth. Her name is Beth." _

Images of the little blonde child she had just met flashed through her head. The hazel eyes, so like her own, the blonde curls...Quinn shook her head and kept running.

_She looks just like you._

The pain was too much. She couldn't handle it anymore. Continuing to ignore Sam's calls, she swerved through the gate and out into the road.

She didn't hear the blast from the car horn or even register the fact that someone was driving towards her until the squeal of brakes penetrated the fog around her brain.

"_Say bye bye."_

She heard a cry of anguish – her name?

The world went black.

* * *

Sam sat by Quinn's bed in the hospital, watching as she slept. He closed his eyes, shuddering at the memory of her body slumped across the hood of the car before it landed on the concrete. The next hour had been a blur of screams, wailing sirens and flashing blue and red lights. He had called her mother, who was out of town and told her what had happened. Judy Fabray had promised to get the next flight home.

A call to Mike Chang took care of Glee Club. They had arrived in full force and arranged themselves in the waiting room, silently supporting Sam with their presence. Even Mr Shue had come and after squeezing Sam's shoulder, had taken the chair in the corner of the room and folded his hands together, his eyes fixed on a spot on the wall.

When the doctor had come in to tell them that Quinn was fine apart from a broken arm and some severe bruising, Sam had fallen into his chair, his whole body shaking with relief.

"Sam?"

The voice brought him out of his reverie. Finn and Rachel were peering around the curtain that separated Quinn's cubicle from the other bed in the small room. Giving them a tired smile, he focused his attention on the sleeping girl in the bed. "You guys should go home. It's been a long day."

"She's been sleeping for hours." Finn ignored his friend and perched on the other chair, pulling Rachel into his lap.

"Doctor said she'll have to stay til tomorrow when her Mom gets back." Sam took Quinn's uninjured hand in his and smoothed a few strands of blonde hair back from her bruised face. "I'm going to stay here until Mrs Fabray gets here."

"Do you want us to stay with you?" Rachel rested her worried gaze on the girl in the bed. "My dads won't mind."

"Thanks, Rachel," Sam answered. "But they won't let us all stay and I'm not leaving her."

Finn nodded and after clapping a hand to Sam's shoulder, he led Rachel from the room.

Sam sighed and turned back to Quinn. "Wake up," he whispered, kissing her cheek gently. "Wake up."

* * *

Quinn opened her eyes and moaned at the pain in her head. The sound jerked Sam out of a light doze. "Quinn? Baby, can you hear me?"

Quinn moaned again and heard him calling frantically for a doctor. Moments later, hands began to gently poke at her and lights were shone in her eyes. "Sam?"

"Right here," he called out from the foot of her bed. "It's going to be okay."

Quinn felt herself drift into the darkness again, the pressure of his hand on hers the last thing she felt.

* * *

Sam parked his car in front of the Fabray house and ran up the driveway. Mrs Fabray had sounded worried when she called him twenty minutes ago, saying that Quinn wouldn't come out of her bedroom. She had been home from the hospital for two days.

Judy Fabray met him at the door, worry evident in her eyes. "I'm sorry to call you, Sam, but she won't talk to me."

"It's okay," Sam assured her. "Can I go up?"

"Please." Judy nodded. "I'll make something for you to eat." She paused, one hand on his arm. "Sam?"

He looked questioningly at her. "Yes?"

"She's not as strong as she lets on," Judy said, biting her lip. "She's had a lot to deal with. Her father didn't deal well with her pregnancy...and then the baby..."

Sam nodded. "I'm sorry that she had to go through all that."

"She never talks about her," Judy fretted. "She tries to be so strong, but she hasn't ever actually talked about it..."

"Mrs Fabray." Sam put his hand on Judy's and squeezed. "I'll try."

He took the stairs two at a time and paused in front of Quinn's bedroom door, knocking softly. "Quinn?"

No answer.

"Quinn, it's Sam." He tried again. When there was no answer, he pushed the door in and felt his heart lurch at the sight of her.

Quinn sat, arms wrapped tightly around her knees, huddled into a corner of the bed. She didn't look up when he came in. With a sigh, he scooted on to the bed until he was sitting next to her, their shoulders millimetres apart.

"Your Mom called," he said conversationally. "She said that you weren't coming out of your room."

No answer.

Sam closed his eyes briefly. "Quinn, you can't keep this up." He saw her clench and unclench her good hand and prayed that he would be able to get through to her. "I'm not going anywhere," he added firmly. "If you don't talk, that's fine. If you won't leave your room, that's fine too. But I'm staying."

He leaned his head against the wall and prepared to wait.

"Beth."

The word was whispered so quietly, he wasn't sure he had heard it. "Beth?"

Quinn raised her bruised face to his and the anguish in her eyes tore at him. "My baby. Her name was Beth."

Sam nodded, the pieces falling into place in his mind. He struggled against the urge to touch her, to try to soothe. "That's a beautiful name."

"She was beautiful," Quinn said softly. "I held her for just a few moments, then they took her to the nursery."

"Of course she was beautiful," Sam answered. "Look at her mom."

"I didn't go to say goodbye." Quinn continued, lost in her memories. "I told them I didn't want to see her new family." She shook her head fiercely. "What kind of person am I? I just gave up my baby and I didn't even say goodbye."

"Quinn..."

"I gave her away," Quinn hissed fiercely. "She was mine, and I just gave her away."

"It was the right thing for you to do," Sam interrupted. "You couldn't keep her."

"I know," Quinn cried. "I know that, I'm not stupid, Sam. But she was mine, just for a few minutes. And I can't get away from the fact that I just gave her away."

The tears trickled from her eyes and she looked so lost, so sad that he ached for her. "You did the right thing."

"It _hurts_," she whispered. "It hurts, right here." She pressed a hand to her chest. "It always hurts. I don't know how to stop it and nobody understands. There's a hole, and Beth..._Beth_..."

As her voice broke and the tears came, Sam gently pulled her into his lap and stroked her hair as she cried for herself and for the baby she had loved so much and let go.

Judy Fabray came to the door and saw her daughter curled up on Sam's lap, harsh sobs wracking her body. She pressed a hand to her heart, her own eyes swimming as she met Sam's gaze. Turning away, she closed the door quietly.

* * *

Quinn felt raw inside. Everything hurt. Her ribs, her arm, her head. But mostly her heart. She felt a hand stroke her hair soothingly and felt a vibration under her cheek. She realised that Sam was humming softly to her.

Her sobs had slowed to shudders now and she felt herself being lifted and gently put on her bed. She clutched his shirt in her hands. "Don't go." Her voice was raspy from crying.

Sam pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere." He sat down on the bed and carefully slipped his arms around her so that her head rested on his chest. "Go to sleep, Quinn."

"You'll be here, when I wake?"

He smiled at her. "I'll be here."

For the first time in longer than she could remember, Quinn slept without hearing a baby crying in her sleep.

* * *

Sam took Quinn's hand as she walked into the choir room. "You ready?"

Quinn smiled at him. "I'm good."

"How's your arm?" Sam said, a worried frown creasing his forehead. "Maybe you should just go home."

"I need to be here," Quinn said quietly. "It helps."

He nodded and held out a chair for her as they waited for the rest of the group to arrive.

"Hey, look who's back!" Mike Chang exclaimed as he walked into the room, Tina at his side. "Welcome back, Q."

Quinn smiled as Tina gently hugged her and Mike patted her shoulder. An excited squeal from Rachel made her laugh out loud and before long she was surrounded by her friends. She looked at Puck, noting the concern in his eyes and nodded at him. He nodded back and squeezed her good hand gently.

Sam's arm draped over her shoulders felt warm and Quinn realised that for the first time in months, she felt like she could actually be happy again.

And it was all thanks to the blond haired, blue eyed boy who sat protectively beside her. Leaning over, she whispered in his ear. "I love you."

His answering smile was all she needed.

**Do please let me know if you loved it. Or hated it, as long as you express your opinion in a non insulting way! **


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